Fire and Ice
by butterfly2202
Summary: A Tale of how Fire and Ice can learn to overcome the differences between them and somehow learn to love. In other words its a Casey and Alex Fic
1. so not happening

**_A/N::: Hey everyone I'm writing this story because it has played out in my head for a while but I'm not sure if I should write it, but let me know if you want me to continue with it. yes this is a calex story. so hope you enjoy this short start please read and review._**

**_thanks _**

**_butterfly2202_**

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"Are you serious special victims? When I put in for a transfer I thought I requested homicide" I spat at my boss rather pissed I might add.

"Yes well a request is just that a request and SVU needs another ADA, homicide has three" Branch spoke sternly.

"Yeah but you're making the Ice Queen my boss"

"Cabot will be your supervisor; I am still both your bosses Casey "

"Yes sir" I sad still highly disappointed.

"Take tomorrow off and check in with Cabot on Wednesday, understood"

I stare at him trying not to explode into a rage how could he do this to me oh well guess I will find some way to make it work.

"Understood"

"Good see you Wednesday miss Novak" I turned and left this office. I'm sure everyone in the office could tell I was stomping my feet but I didn't care how was I ever going to do this job and work with Alexandra Cabot she hates me, ok so not like I have ever really met her I think we have said hi in an elevator once or twice and I mean she's good at her job. But from what I hear she is also a real bitch guess we will just have to find out.

I get back to my apartment and lay down on the couch maybe if I just don't get up I won't have to go in and then this nightmare won't be real. Not sure what to do I was told to take the day off tomorrow but what does that even mean I would rather be at work. Guess Branch thought I needed time to cool off so that's what I will do.

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**Alex point of view.**

It had been one of those days, a lonely day of boring paper work and constant flood of motions from defense attorneys from the four cases I had been working. I was fighting the start of a migraine when there was another knock at my office door. It's almost six in the evening I can't imagine what disaster this was going to be. After lunch I had given up locking my door so I close the current case file on my desk and call toward the door.

"Come in" I say

"Hello Alexandra how's your day?" spoke my boss Arthur Branch. This was not going to end well for my already pounding head.

"Lots of paperwork sir" I tried to sound happy but I'm sure my attempts were fleeting.

"that's my point, I have decided to add another ADA to SVU you of course will be lead and get to assign case's but as the unit is growing we have to keep up" he spoke steady and slow seeming to be gearing for a fight which I was of course about to give him.

"Sir, really I'm ok, it's not that much work, and we don't need another person…" I spit out

"It is already done Alexandra, so please calm yourself or we will only have one ADA and it won't be you." He said in a rather stern voice.

"Who?" I manage to say, lowering my voice and nodding my head in understanding.

"ADA Casey Novak"

"That redhead tomboy from white collar" I said raising my voice once again.

There was no words from Branch just one simple look that said it all 'behave or ill have your job' and I'm sure he meant it but trying to save my standing and my dignity I speak again.

"Sorry, it's just she's not equipped to deal with victims" I say

"As I recall Alex there was a time you didn't know how to deal with them either"

"Yes sir, when dose she start"

"She will be in tomorrow"

I looked at him trying to beg for more of an answer but was met with none, how I was going to train this girl. I'm sure she is quite a good lawyer and what I have heard she had a decent conviction rate but dealing with thieves was quite a different then rapists.

"You are to help her learn the ropes" he said heading back out the door standing in the doorway he turned back "I mean it Alexandra , play nice" and with that he left the door slamming shut behind him.

"Dam it" I call out shaking my head at the pain the echo had caused. This was the last thing I needed a bright eyed little spit fire who didn't give a crap about this unit. Well that was by far the end of my work day best get home before this headache gets worse I pack my things and head for home tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	2. first day

**_Hello all ok so long time no type guess I lost my flare for this story a bit but I needed to write Broken wings. anyway I'll try to update more. _**

**_so short outs _**

**_ iTrick here is the update :)_**

**_ Stussy : yes she did wait till you see what Casey calls Alex _**

**_glad people are reading this let me know if I should keep it up now onto updating drunken dreams._**

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I woke up that Wednesday morning trying my best not to be sick I would have loved to be anywhere else not 20 feet away from ice queen Cabot's door but I have to choice I take a deep breath and move closer I hear her voice but no response she must be on the phone I wait outside till I hear her hang up then I knock firmly there's no noise for a moment then a piercing voice

"Come in" she calls

And I open the door slowly and step in closing it behind me she doesn't look up from her desk

"Novak" she says in a questioning tone

"Yes Casey" I respond

"Yeah ok" she stands and walks toward me she circles me like a hawk "so you think you can do this job"

"Yes" I manage to say not sure if I mean it

"Really" she glares she's now standing in front of me so close I can feel her breath and for the first time I look up into those blue eyes they really do look like ice but they are very pretty.

"Yes" I say more confident this time

"Ok then Novak… here" she slides a piece of paper into my hand there is an address on it "you will meet two of the detectives there and it will be your first case enjoy" she says almost with a smirk I nod and turn to leave but she grabs my arm

"first off tomboy I am in charge here so don't screw up and make me look bad got it" I twitch at the pain in my arm and try to move away but she holds it tighter then let's go "also if you need anything I'm here for you this is not a normal squad and these are not normal victims" she speaks and for the first time I feel a warmth from her she turns back to her desk.

"I won't let you down Cabot" I say as I turn to leave and I can't help but think she is staring at my ass.

I head to the address she gave me and was not meet with a very warm welcome at all but I sucked it up this was my first case and I was not about to give up even if it was about a kidnapped girl. I just didn't think this case would be so hard and I really wish she hadn't grabbed my arm like that it's starting to bruise.

_**Alex pov**_

I lay back in my desk chair watching that toned ass leave my office man she is smoking I think and maybe I shouldn't have been so tough on the poor girl but she needed a taste of the reality of it here and I needed to give it to her. I do hope I didn't push her to hard and you know I should have warned liv and Elliot oh well my best friend will kill me later.

"Crap I have court in twenty" I grab my bag and run out of the door

"Maybe we do need another person"

It was almost 7 when I finally made my way back to my office court had taken forever then I went to grab some food so I guess I could have been back earlier but I make the trek to the end of the hall and I notice a light from Casey's office still on I know I shouldn't but I can't help it.

"knock knock" I say as I tap the door

A slightly defeated voice answers back "enter"

"Hey how was the first day"

"It was great" she smiles one that I am sure is fake

"It only gets better"

She nods and I turn to leave but am stopped by her harsh whisper

"You really don't like me do you"

I sigh

"I just don't think this job is for everyone and some tomboy spitfire with a thing to prove is not the right fit"

"Why if some rich trust fund prissy can handle it why can't I" she smarts back.

"You don't even know me" I say

"And you don't know me, just get out of my office ok"

I leave slamming the door how dare she, the nerve I huff as I unlock my office and grab my things that poor girl wants a fight with the ice queen then she will get one let's just see what happens if they don't find that child or even better if they do. I slam my door and head out deciding its best to head home.

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**_I know but these chapters are mostly going to be short may be longer in the future._**


	3. case

_**Glad most of you like this story , I wanted to write about what would happen if Alex never went to witsec but Casey still got the job, I think its Turing ok , this chapter is a bit longer I hope you like it its more of a set up then anything but it needed to be written. as always tanks for the reviews and follows love you all. enjoy.**_

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_**Casey pov**_

It had been a long couple of days searching for that missing girl and really wasn't sure how I was holding together I hadn't talked to Alex after that night in my office. Maybe I shouldn't have said those things but she's awful I know she doesn't want me here but it's not like I'm not trying and to be honest I didn't really want this but homicide was full. These were all the thoughts that ran though my head as I made my way to branch's office I was more than willing to quit right here and now.

This day had been tough I watched my detectives chase down the kidnapper of that dock and Elliot shove him in the water, I don't even know what made me feel the need to check that cooler, but I did, I found that girl and when I lifted in my arms I had to fight back tears as I hugged her tight. I take a deep breath as I knock on my boss's door.

"Got a minute"

"Save a child, you get two" I smile at him

"I don't think I can do this" I say looking at him he just gives me that really look and I know I'm not getting out of this assignment.

I don't really know what he said after that because I couldn't bring myself to focus but I knew he was telling me to hang in there and it ended with him saying that one day I would want this job , I really hope he's right. I turn and walk back toward my office I can't quite bring myself to go home so I just shut my down and plop down on my couch as tears poor from my eyes, there are so many reasons I can't do this job I cry into the couch I close my eyes hoping to forget about this case and trying to think how long this torture will last.

_**Alex pov**_

"Cabot" I answer the ringing phone on the third ring ,its branch.

"Hello Alexandra"

"Hi sir what can I do for you"

"How about check on your co-worker"

"Oh something happen to one of the detectives" I say with a small grin thankful he can't see it.

"Alex" he says sternly

"I know I heard about the case is she ok"

"The girl or Novak"

"Both"

"The child is fine, however I'm not sure that can be said for Casey, she just left my office and I am quite sure she needs a friend"

"Why me" I ask even if I do know the answer.

"I made you lead for a reason, this is part of your job"

"Ok I'm still in my office I'll go see if I can find he"

"Thank you and goodnight "

I hang up the phone and sigh great now I have to babysit I did not go to law school to babysit and after that right I had with the redhead I don't think she will even look at me. I grab my coat and head across the hall seeing her light still on I tap on the door lightly and it opens. I poke my head inside and whisper her name, no response I step in and see her sprawled across her couch I walk closer to her I pick a pen up off the small table and toss it at her.

"Novak get up" I yell and that point I really wish I hadn't done that.

I watch in shock as she jumps up and sits on the couch pulling her knees to her chest and she screams.

"No get away from me no please"

I worry for a moment wondering if she really was that mad at me but then I looked into her bloodshot green eyes no doubt form all that crying and I see fear but her eyes are dissent as if she doesn't know it's me. I move closer and reach out a hand she flinches as I try to speak.

"Casey its Alex I'm sorry" I say as calming as possible we sit in silence for a bit then she sets her feet on the floor and turns to me I know she's looking at me this time.

"Alex" she spoke as if confused. "What happened" she asked

"I think you had a flashback"

"Did I hurt you?"

"no no , are you ok" I ask placing my hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah I'm ok Cabot what are you doing here anyway"

"Wellness check, branches orders" I say with a smile she giggles at my joke.

"Well I'm fine you can go thanks"

"I'm not going to hurt you" I say suddenly feeling very guilty for my childish behavior

"You already did" she says as she rubs her wrist and I feel a slicking pain in my stomach as I remember that first day. Guess I grabbed her harder then I meant too.

"I'm so sorry.. I didn't know"

"Know what, I don't know what you're talking about but I'm fine and I would like to be alone"

"Please case"

"Don't call me that I don't even know why you're using my first name, like you care like we're friends" she spits back

"You know you really are a piece of work Novak" I say jumping into my ice queen mode I get up and head for the door but that voice in my head which right now sounds a lot like branch tells me to look back and I see it , shame , embarrassment , guilt and fear.

"Leave Cabot" she yells at me

"Not until you listen to me" I shout back.

"I don't know you, your right but if you're going through something I would like you know I am here, I understand that I have not been the nicest person and I should have been there for you on this case more and I'm sorry for that. But please I know in your eyes I'm some rich trust fund priss who only cares about her job, but I worked hard to get here and you know there really is a heart under the ice. If you were wondering, you have my number if you want to talk anytime"

I look at her the shocked expression on her face I'm sure mine mirrors it she nods and I reach for the door stepping out I whisper "I truly am sorry Casey" as I turn and walk down the hall no wonder she didn't want this squad Casey Novak is a victim I exit the courthouse and head home two lone tears fall from my eyes as I walk.

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_**Ok lets play a game if I get at least 10 reviews i'll update again today. **_

_**butterfly2202**_


	4. a new start

**Casey POV**

I sat there longer then I should have just staring at the door had that really happened did the one person I hate right now just see how hurt I am. I don't even know where any of that came from maybe my pent up anger at her or the fear I felt when she grabbed my wrist but to just snap like that to complete forget where I was, I mean it did happen a lot when I first left him but that was years ago why did it happen now and why in front of her. I shake my head and try to get up but I feel my body to shaken to really move so I just lie back on the couch I guess it's better than going back to my apartment.

I can't sleep so I just stare at the celling thinking about everything mostly the conversation with Alex but it wasn't her words that kept replaying in my head it was flashes of her. Seeing Her beautiful lips and those ice blue eyes that I saw a hint of humanity in, those long legs as she stood over me and that slickly blonde hair. Oh god I thought I think I have a crush on Alexandra Cabot no I can't I tell myself she's a rude stuck up priss and she would never like me anyway. But it's that thought that her words begin to play her saying my name so soft and sweet her trying to comfort me and all I did was push her away could I be wrong is there really a way to melt the ice queen had she shown me that.

I lay there and am finally able to close my eyes and drift off into a not so peaceful sleep. When I awaken and stretch out I can hear voices in the hall and clicking of heels on the tile floor I look to the clock 9 am I sigh and stand up making my way to the coffee pot I kept in my office and turned it on I was going to need more than the supply that I had to make it through this day but right now I knew that I had to apologize to a certain blonde. I down my cup so fast I almost burn my mouth but I needed the caffeine I pop my head out of the door and look across the hall she has her door open and I see her move across her room I retreat back into my office then fix another cup of coffee and walk toward her door.

I'm standing in the doorway when she looks up at me with those crystal eyes

"Yes" she says cold and harsh

I respond calmly and with a small smile

"Can we talk" she stares at me "I made you some coffee

She nods and I step in closing the door behind me I walk near her desk and slide the cup toward her. She looks at me but softens her glare.

"Not poison is it" she asks taking a sip

"If it was I'm sure you would find a way to come back from the grave to prosecute me yourself" I smile

And for the first time in my presences' Alex giggles her laugh is amazing.

"You have that right, now what can I do for you"

"About last night" I start to say but she cuts me off

"Casey did you sleep here hun" she asks

Hun I like her calling me that I don't know how to react so I nod she stands and walks toward me she places a hand on my shoulder, I knew the words she was about to ask and I felt so small next to her like a child sitting in her school councilor's office being asked this. Her words may not surprise me but her actions do she bent down in front of me and placed her hands on my knees and looks me straight in my eyes.

"Casey I am going to ask you something, and you will tell me the truth ok"

"Yes" I say

"Was there a reason you didn't want to go home" she asks and it takes me a moment to understand her and then I nod

"Yes "I tell her I watch her eyes question me "I just didn't have the energy to make it home" I tell her

"Ok" she says as she stands and goes back to her desk sipping the coffee.

"So about what happened last night, its not what you think"

"I don't think anything" she has a tone that says I know you are lying but I'm not going to call you on it.

"When I'm tired and stressed I just sometimes" I try to explain but I don't really know what to say but im thankful that I'm silenced by a knock on the door.

**ALEX POV**

"Sorry" I tell her quickly

"Come in I call to the person at the door

I watch intently as it opens but sigh when I see our boss cross the threshold he has an odd look on his face this is normally that point I either get yelled at or he tells me I have some awful case to fix.

"Oh miss Novak you're here" I see him look to Casey who is quick to responded

"I can leave sir"

"No stay, I'll need both of you on this one"

"Great, a case" I say

"yes but it won't be easy we believe it was a hate crime there was a shooting at a primary school one dead two others wounded"

Both of us gasp at his words he hands me the files and I look to casey there is rage in her eyes I'm sure that she want this man dead anyone who can kill a child should die but that flame in her eyes makes her quite sexy, what am I doing I have a file of a dead boy by god pull yourself together Alexandra.

"But there are two cases here"

"In the course of investigating the shooting the detectives uncovered a child molester as well so you can split the cases as you see fit"

"Yes sir"

"Yes sir" Casey chimes following my lead

"Have a nice day ladies" he says as he walks away and closes the door behind him.

I look to Casey she had a fire in her eyes and I know in that moment how strong she really is maybe I am wrong about what I saw and if I'm not then at least it seems to be in her past and right now we have two cases to crack I can tell she watching me and she wants to ask something so I nod.

"Can I have the case Alex" she wants the tough case she wants another horror story in her head I give her a look that says are you sure and watch as those red locks bounce off her shoulders as she nods.

"Please I can do this"

"Here" I hand her the file "best get over to the squad room then" I tell her

She jumps up and I see the flame in her eye turn to light she's happy truly happy about getting another chance I'm sure she turns to leave and smiles at me " I won't let you down I promise" she says as she bounds for the door.

"I hope so "I whisper not wanting her to hear me I flip over the file on desk I'm met with the face of some creeping looking man in his late sixties and the dd5 of the interview "yeah creep you're going away for a while" I smile to myself best get ready for court seeing as it would be later that day. I just hope this case doesn't get too much for Casey and I really should try and be a better support system for her because fighting each other really is not going to get us anywhere with all the scum we fight in court. I take another sip of coffee, and hey she really dose make great coffee.

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_**Again another set up chapter but still cute anyway as always leave me a review and thanks for all the ones I have you guys rock my socks.**_


	5. Friends

**sorry for the update delay but here's a long chapter to make up for it. thanks for all the reviews , I know I'm not the best writer but I'm trying to get better. Anyway enjoy and as always leave me feedback.**

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**Alex POV**

I hadn't seen Casey for a few days; she had been working really hard on this case Liv had been trying to keep me updated on it. The most they had gotten was that it had to do with some group of racist creeps and they were pretty sure they found the shooter and the guy who hired the shooter they told me that the trial was being set for that Wednesday I was dying to see Casey in the court room but the trial was at the same time as mine. Liv had also let it slip that Casey had gotten hit on by the shooter I almost died laughing oh well that's kind of a rite of passage around here. However apparently she was taking all of this very well and keeping her cool every step of the way guess she had decided she did want to work here. I was actually happy about having a less stressful case load.

It was almost noon court started up and one I thought about getting lunch but I knew I never really ate before court so I would just head to the coffee shop across from the courthouse. I walked in and up to the counter and ordered a medium Carmel hazelnut latte. I was scanning the room when a flash of red caught my eye; I smiled grabbing my coffee off the counter and walking over to the table. She had a half-eaten scone on her plate and was sipping an iced tea she seemed calm she had her notepad in front of her man her handwriting was awful I could hear her whispering to herself , no doubt trying to get her opening statement perfect I let out a small giggle and she turns toward me.

"Hey there, can I get you a coffee" I ask as she sets down her now empty tea.

"What are you doing here?"

"This is lunch" smiling as I shake my coffee.

"Same here" she looks confused "sit please" pointing to the chair across from her.

"Thanks" taking my seat.

"You know I'm not spying, my case is at the same time" I explain

"Didn't think you were Cabot" ok so we are still not using first names that's fun I decided I'll go with it.

"Well Novak I heard you got hit on by your shooter"

"Oh yeah it was real sweet" I could feel those green pools shoot lasers at me and I shook my head.

"Mmmm that good"

"Yes I believe it was, how about you and me baby bet we would make pretty white babies together."

I bust out laughing and this made her giggle as well .

"What's so funny" I ask

"Oh nothing I just didn't think the great Alex Cabot could laugh like that.

"Well maybe if someone would get to know me they would stop saying things like that" I snap at her I truly hate when people say things like that. I feel like every time I talk to this woman we take two steps back is she incapable of having a friend.

"Why would you want me to know you?"

"You know I thought when you brought me coffee a week ago we were getting somewhere and now your acting like this"

"Look Cabot I don't need friends I have work, I brought you coffee because I wanted to explain about what happened"

"Which if I recall you never did"

"True, but you know it's not really your place and now if you don't mind I have court" she said gathering her things and heading for the door.

I grab my coffee and follow her we walk across the street to the steps of the courthouse and she turns to me and I swear I see a small tear in her eye she turns and walks down to me.

"Please just leave it alone, just please" her eyes watering more and I don't know why I was mad but I do more than regret what I said next

"Are you really that damaged Novak, that you can't even see when someone is trying to be friends with you, you really are ridiculous, good luck in court"

"You too" I hear her whisper as I brush past her I'm not sure what part of the statement that was made about but I walk inside and head to my courtroom .

The trial was going great the little girl had just testified and it was now time to light in to the guy who hurt her when the court officers wakie started talking I watched as the judge glared but the officer held up his hand and then spoke.

"There has been a shooting in the room down the hall there saying at least six shot" my heart sank I knew it was my squad in that room. Everyone rushed out the back way of the building you could see other officers holding prisoners and frantic victims, judges and lawyers running I went outside and ran around to the front to wait. I watched as I saw Elliot and John being rush into the ambulances it was a mess I snaped my head around when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Captain" I said not sure if I could form words

"They're all going to mercy head over if you want" he told me as he looked for any uninjured members of his squad I watched as liv Casey and fin ran down the steps and hopped into a waiting car. I turned and walked back toward my car around the corner and headed for the hospital trying to breathe at least Casey was unharmed.

I sat in the waiting room there were always so many people when officers get shot but it makes me feel safe so I don't really mind I'm sitting there for a while when I see Liv walk toward me.

"Olivia, how is everyone"

"Elliot and john are ok , three people are dead though" I nod that room must have been horrifying I thought I look into the eyes of my best friend and I can tell she knows what I'm about to ask.

"she went back to the office, think she was going to head home" she told me and I looked confused she rolled her eyes, she always had a way of knowing things I didn't

"Casey" she says and I sigh I grab my purse and head for the door

"Call me if anything changes" I call to her

She just flashes me a thumbs up and turns back to one of the doctors.

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**Casey POV**

I had left the hospital after getting my head looked at I was fine but would have a headache for a few days but it doesn't hurt so bad , however the thought of dying dose he had that gun to my head, he wanted to kill me and he could have I shake my head stepping into my office and I head for my couch again not ready to deal with life outside these walls I lean back and think and I realize the thing that scared me most was the thoughts running past my mind as he held that gun there it was the last thing Alex said to me and if I really was damaged I mean that kid Kyle who had the gun to my head was damaged and he's dead so what makes me so different, she wasn't wrong I really don't have any friends it's too hard to let people in.

Then again almost dying watching my co-workers get shot to protect me and the others in that courtroom maybe I could be something more than the spit fire tomboy maybe I could be Casey I know I'm crying I can feel the tears hitting my face but I do nothing to stop them, I don't know why I hurt Alex today either I feel awful I mean I guess it is possible for someone to be nice to you without wanting to hurt you, maybe I could give her a real chance even though I'm sure she wouldn't want to be friends now I'm lost in my thoughts when I hear a taping on the door and it being to creak open I don't look up, I can't I see her shoes as she steps in and I know it's her.

"are you ok" her soft comforting voice fills my ears I shake my head and she slides onto to the couch next to me I expect her arms around me but when they are not I tilt my head toward her and shyly smile she opens her arms to me, she was asking permission to hold me I nod and lean into her shoulder. Her hands tangle into my hair and run circles on my back, I sigh her blonde hair is covering my face I take a deep breath trying to stop crying but the only thing I succeed in is sniffing her golden locks mangos she would use fruity shampoo.

"It's ok your safe "she tells me I pull back and look at her.

"I'm sorry" I say

And she shakes her head "don't worry about that know ok" I nod maybe this friendship thing really isn't so bad.

"Did they tell you what happened in there" I asked her

"Not entirely, I didn't know you were hurt" she says running her hand over the bump on my head.

"He had the gun to my head, he would have killed me if the guys hadn't stepped in" I cry and fall back into her shoulder.

"shhh shhh shhh"

"Why" I whisper into her ear.

she pulls me back and grabs my hands she stares into my eyes and for the first time in a while I see something in her I haven't seen in anyone well at least not directed at me love I may not know what kind but it's there dimly but there.

"Why what"

"Why did they save me?"

"One Casey it's their job, two your there friend "she wasted no time in saying that

"Thought I couldn't have friends" I told her

"I ….. I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry"

"I know"

"You have a whole squad of friends, if you want them and you have me" she raises her hand to my cheek and uses her thumb to wipe away some of the tears.

"friends" I smile as if confirming what she said. I was waiting for her to move her hand away but she didn't for a while longer then she slowly brush it back pulling a strand of lose hair behind my ear, if she was a guy I think she would have kissed me right then but I'm pretty sure she's straight anyway and besides she said she wants to be friends. But as her hand snakes to the back of my head and I look into her ice blue eyes .

"What are you doing" I ask

"sorry" she said quickly pulling her hand away

"I should be going" she says and stands

"yeah thanks friend" I say she looks at me as I stand as if showing her the door

"this is being there for someone"

"I I can't" she says

"Right and I'm the one who can't have friends "

"I have lots of friends Novak so back off"

"Yeah how many did you buy Cabot?"

"You bitch"

"Takes one to know one" she walks toward me her eyes glazing over; she stands there not speaking for a bit.

"you know why don't you go back to the dumpster you came out of" I glare at her trying to decide if I'm going to slap her or kiss her man she's sexy when she's pissed. I don't why I thought we could be friends every time we try to have a nice convo it ends up it someone plotting murder.

"Not going to respond, so you agree your trailer trash" I think she sees the look in my eyes because she was slightly slurring that last sentence.

"Alex" I say softly

"Yeah"

"Shut up "I tell her as I lean into her and place my lips on hers I leave them pressed for a moment giving her the option to pull away but she doesn't. Instead she places her hand on the back of my head and I feel her tongue trace my lips, I part them slightly and let her in as I wrap my arms around her neck. She pulls me closer and we deepen the kiss I let her take more of the control but only for a moment before I fight her back she let up and allowed it. We were perfect this was perfect at the point I knew I couldn't breathe I pulled back.

"Casey" she moans out

"yyyyy eeee sssss" still catching my breath

"I don't think your trailer trash"

"And I don't think you're a rich priss"

We both smile I don't know where this is going but I think I like it and that kiss made me realize I may have a squad full of friends but as for Alex I don't think being friends in going to work because I don't think I could keep from kissing her after that. I know I have things to work through but with Alex holding my hand I'm sure I will be ok.

"Alex"

"Yes"

"I have some things to tell you" she places a finger to my lips

"Another time" she says and I smile she's right now's not the time but I think we both feel better now she turns to the door and I release her hand.

"Drinks at my place Friday "she says as she walks out. I fall back onto the couch and smile. I just made out with Alexandra Cabot.


	6. sick&sweet

**A/N__****::**Hello everyone , ok so please don't kill me for this chapter it may be a bit weird but go with it ok , sometimes these stories what to write themselves and that happened here. I hope you enjoy, as always thanks for the reviews and please leave feedback for this chapter.

**_~Butterfly~_**

* * *

**Alex POV**

I'm tossing in my bed I can't sleep, I just cannot shake the events of yesterday well two days ago now, I didn't see Casey yesterday she was told to take some time off but I had texted her to ask if she ok, she was but was thankful to not have for work that day. I look over at my clock am I should sleep but my every time I close my eyes I see her. When I had walked into her office to comfort her and didn't mean to upset her in anyway, I wish I could have had the courage to kiss her then but instead I was trying run like a silly girl. If I had known she wanted me I would have I giggle the tough ice queen was running from a crush of the irony there. But I know if I hadn't we wouldn't have fought and then she wouldn't have kissed me with such fire it was more than sexy she was more than sexy. I know what I said was wrong but had she really thought I would buy friends I just got so angry and that was the first thing that came to mind and I felt the heat build inside me but her way of shutting me up was perfect.

I have to admit for a split second after she pressed her lips to mine I had wanted to pull back but her lips were so soft I had to let my tongue feel them and when she took the hint and parted them I knew I had to take it take her. Kissing her like that felt good it felt right I don't think I ever remember kissing anyone that way. I didn't want to stop but I guess one has to breathe at some point. I didn't think a friendship could work backwards I had always gotten to almost everything about a person before kissing them but with Casey it was different, it was heaven with that perfect mix of hell. I am looking forward to our date on Friday and getting to know her better, I know just being friends is most defiantly out of the question but I would settle for lovers who happen to be best friends. In fact that wouldn't be settling at all. I roll over and try to sleep when I hear my phone buzz only once it's just a text but I grab it anyway it's from Casey and there's a picture.

I read the message first:

Please tell me that I'm not crazy

For not being able to get you out of my head

I smile and then I look at the picture I don't know what I was expecting you know maybe her sweats and a pony tail but this picture was flawless she was laid back on her bed her read locks toss around her head on the pillow and she had a black and green lace almost see though teddy on she look amazing and I felt the heat fall right to my core I text her back.

"Dam no way am I ever getting that image out of my head

Beautiful

And you're not crazy"

I take a quick pic of myself blowing her a kiss I must look awful my hair is pulled back in a messy bun and I'm wearing a tank top but the angle makes my boobs look great so I send it. The picture of Casey pops back up I set it as my home screen I'm so hot I can feel my panties slowly becoming soaked and then I hear the phone again this time it's a call I pick it up without looking at the id.

"Cabot"

"No I think this is the sexy blonde who loves to make red heads wet" I giggle it was Casey

"Casey" I say as if giving her a stern warning.

"I can hang up if you'd like" her voice was sexy but there was another noise in the back ground a sort of buzzing.

"What is that?"

"What is what" she saying trying to sound cute

"That buzzing"

"Oh you mean Bob"

"Who the hell is bob" I ask she has a boyfriend and she's kissing me what the hell Novak I don't do threesomes.

I hear loud laughing and I bit of a moan on the other end. "Down girl ,bob you know, battery operator boyfriend , otherwise known as a vibrator"

Casey was pleasuring herself while calling me what the heck. Now I have never been one to be very adventurous in the bedroom and I have only ever used fingers on myself so I was a bit confused.

"Are you trying to have phone sex with me" I ask

"Well if you're not into it, like I said I can hang up"

"No stay… please" I say as more of a moan

"Mmmm I bet someone is wet"

"God yes" I say sliding my hands down to my wet panties.

"Have you done this before?"

"Um yeah of course" I say nervous

"Alex I don't mean that I would hope you have done that, I mean this"

"Well um no"

"That's ok I want to make you happy ok so just do what I say" I was shocked she wanted to do this wanted to be in charge and make me feel good.

"Casey are you sure"

"'just lay back, get naked and do as I say, I know what I'm doing, I've had tons of practice" I hear I hint of sadness in her voice and even with a throbbing core I knew this might be wrong, I thought back to that night her reaction when I woke her, had that ass made her do this when she couldn't be home.

"Alex please I want to make you happy and I'm done already, just hearing your voice sent me over" if this was something she enjoyed who I was I to tell her no and I did need to cum so I sigh and do as I was told.

"Ok Casey"

"I bet you're so sexy ok now I'm going to tell you what I would do too you and you can well do them and pretend it's me"

"mmmmmm"

"First I would lick those perfect breasts taking one nipple in my mouth and pinching the other with my thumb and finger." I moan

"Then I would kiss you deep as I ran my hands up and down your thighs" I could hear her get lost in this too and I knew it would be ok at least I thought until her next line.

"then I would kiss your abs and then your inner thighs on both sides before kissing the top of your cock and wrapping my lips around it being to take all of you in my mouth" I was so turned on I almost hadn't noticed I had lost her I stopped what I was doing and sat up.

"Casey, Casey" I called to her no answer "Casey sweetheart Casey" I yelled the last time

"Alex what's wrong are you ok"

"I am, but I'm not sure you are sweetie you do know I don't have a cock right" I tell her

"Oh Alex I'm so sorry" I hear her almost start to cry.

And with that first sob I was no longer turned on just concerned.

"it's ok really, look we both need sleep why don't we both try and get some, tomorrow is Friday and I am so looking forward to our date"

"Date" she said as if asking

"Well that's what I thought it was"

"Ok, date, goodnight Alex

"night Casey" I can hear her stilling crying as I hang up by got what had this bastard done to her , at least I can see why she is a badass in the courtroom and yet still always tries to please everyone she must have really been broken-down, I really hope she opens up to me and she understands I would never want to hurt her that way we may both have to learn how to love again but just to be able to kiss her again will be worth the fight. I want her to be mine and I want to be hers. I roll over its almost 4:30 but at least I can sleep now I close my eyes and drift off looking forward to tomorrow.

**Casey POV**

I cried myself to sleep last night and when I woke up I noticed I had slept past my alarm which was ok seeing as I didn't have to be at work today and I was glad. I tore myself from the sheets and walked into the bathroom I desperately needed a shower I stepped in not waiting for the water to get warm the ice cold liquid hitting my skin felt nice. Maybe a cold shower would have been better than trying to have phone sex with Alex. I did think it was a good idea at the time and she seemed into it but again stupid broken me went ahead and ruined everything I really did think it would be ok it has been so long and I just wanted to feel normal but I guess I'm never going to be normal I guess I don't deserve to be normal, I'm nothing more than trash maybe Alex was right, I mean if he was right. But then again she did say I was beautiful that was something he never told me.

I got out of the shower and changed into some jeans and a tee shirt I didn't really know how I was going to spend my day. Well my afternoon seeing as it was already one then my mind flashed to my date tonight I really don't have anything to wear. I know it's just drinks but I do want to look nice for her maybe if I look nice she'll keep me around and maybe even want a relationship. I slide my shoes on and grab my purse and head for the mall in search of a new dress. But nothing I try one seems right then as I walk past one of the small boutiques I see it the prefect dress. I go inside and find the one in my size thankful because there are only two left, I try it on and its perfect I just know it. It is a black strapless with dark green beading around the wait I have same shade heels to match so I buy the dress and head home its almost 6 when I get back in my apartment and I realize I don't know what time to meet Alex but just as I pick up my phone there is a knock at the door.

"Hello are you Casey" the woman with dark brown hair was holding a vase dozen red roses

"Yes"

"Well someone really likes you" she said handing me the flowers I thank her as she walks away.

I set the flowers down on the table and reach for the card

Case

Don't ever forget how beautiful you are inside and out

See you at 8

Alex

Well guess I don't need to ask now but seeing as its 6:30 I do need to get ready but before I do I can't help but text Alex and thank her

"See you soon, the roses are lovely"

After doing my hair and makeup I slide into my dress and heels I looked in the mirror and reread the card from the flowers that I had taped there beautiful I told myself maybe if I say it enough I will finally believe it.

I went outside and hailed a cab and quickly gave the cabbie the address of Alex's building the ride didn't take too long and I was shocked that her building didn't look very different from my own and soon I found myself walking down her hallway to her door. I don't know if I was more nervous about seeing her, having drinks, or having to try and forget about last night. But whatever it was I had to fight back because my hand was knocking on her door.

"Casey" she said sweetly as she opened the door and the scent of her apartment, the scent of her filled the hallway. She looked lovely in a light blue dress with cupped sleeves and a plunging neckline. Her blonde hair pulled into a half pony tail with the rest falling behind her back and her eyes a stunning clear blue behind her black frames.

"You look lovely Alex" I finally managed to say she reached for my hand and yanked me inside and hugging me as she closed the door.

"Well you look absolutely stunning" I smiled she released me and pointed toward the couch.

Her apartment was nothing like I had expected yes it was bigger than mine and had what look like at least two or three bedrooms but it was rather simple and very homey. She picked up a glass of wine off the table and handed it to me as she took the other glass and took a sip I watched as her lips slid over the glass dam she even makes drinking wine look hot. I drink about half my glass in one gulp and Alex looks at me.

"Slow down case or some might think I'm trying to get you drunk"

"Maybe I like being drunk"

"Well then here "she says with a giggle grabbing the bottle from beside her and refilling my cup.

I take another big sip this time even more of my glass is empty and I look over at the blondes glass which is now also gone and I smile. I'm shocked but between the two of us that bottle is gone in forty five minutes would have been faster but we were laughing about dumb things that happened at work the horrors of law school and the endless nightmares about not passing the bar. I was happy for once in a very long time I felt like I had a friend I could tell anything to. I took the last sip of wine and I felt some it splash onto my upper lip Alex must have been watching me because as I was about to lick it off she leaned in and kissed my bottom lip then let her tongue glide across my top one as she licked it clean.

"mmmmmm" I moaned softly

"Last drop is always the best" she giggled I don't think I will ever get sick of hearing her laugh.

I lean into her placing my head on her shoulder I know I'm more than a little tipsy she runs her hand over my hair and down to the top of my thigh and she kisses me on the forehead. Even in my tipsy haze I know where this is going she takes my hand and whispers.

"I want you to know, that I don't care about what happened to you in the past, I do hope one day you can tell me but I understand. However as long as you are in my arms you are safe, you are beautiful and you are wanted"

I let a small tear fall from my eye as she held me I sank my head a little lower and laid it on her chest I wanted to feel her heart beat I began to cry a bit harder as I softly spoke a

"Thank you"

She pulled my chin and made me look into her eyes and i knew everything she said was real I smiled. And laid my head back I just wanted her to hold me after about ten minutes I sat up and I looked into her crystal blues once more and I kissed her deep and hard and it was wonderful her hands explored my neck and she stopped when she felt the scar across the back and she pulled back and lifted my hair to look.

"is this from him" I nod she gave me that look the one she gives victims when she's trying to comfort them but at the same time say tell me.

I sigh "it was my fault, he came home early and dinner wasn't done yet and he hadn't gotten a lunch that day I offered to make him a sandwich but he slapped me and I fell, the knife I was using slipped and hit me in the back of the head I tried to grab it and get up but he pushed me down and took it and cut my neck deeper across the small cut. It bled for so long but I couldn't go to the hospital till the next morning before work" she held both my hands and had them set on my lap.

"That is most defiantly not your fault" she said sweet but firm

"But dinner should have been ready; I knew how he wanted dinner when he got home"

She shook her head "it must have been hard not being able to be strong at home"

"I was strong in the court I got to fight"

I could see the tears in her eyes she now must have known why I was a spit fire, I spent so much time being quiet and sweet that in the court was the only place I could be me. She pulled me close and I let my nose fall into her blonde locks still smelled like mangos and her hands on my back felt good. She let go and looked at me again.

"Casey can I ask you something"

"Anything"

"About the phone call last night"

"Alex I'm sorry, I really did want to and I didn't know it would be a trigger I used to do it before him but if you're asking did he make me" she nods her head "yes if he was out of town or stuck at the office of if I had to stay late."

"Oh Casey"

"look Alex " I say I can feel the full force of my drunken state now maybe I should have eaten today " he may have done a lot of sick things to me, but something I did like and would want to try with someone who cares about me. " I sigh "I was a person before him and I am still a person after him, he may have broken me beyond repair but please understand I still have wants needs and most of all desires.

"I know and you are not broken, you are amazing and I know you have desires and I'm sure you could fulfill mine as well" she smiled

"You mean it" I say I can feel my eyes getting heavy I know I'm falling asleep

"Always" she looks at me and pets my hair she must have noticed how tired I was

"Casey sleep its ok" I watched her stand and walk down the hall a few minutes later I feel a pillow slide under my head and she leans down to take off my heels, before tossing a blanket over me and kissing me on the lips.

"Sweet dreams beautiful" she said as she headed toward her room and switched off the lights. I wanted to stop her to have her take me home or call me a cab but this couch was so comfy and it smelled like her. I closed my eyes and drifted into sleep to shake off my drunkenness.


	7. falling hard

**_A/N hey everyone sorry for the long wait but I don't have internet at the moment so I am posting this from starbucks and I'm also trying to find a job or two because not being able to go to school cause of money sucks when you have already completed two years. Anyway hope you like this chapter I think the ending of it is a bit strange but I had to set up the next chapter as always read review and enjoy._**

**_Butterfly2202_**

* * *

**_Alex_**

I didn't sleep much that night as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about the beautiful redhead lying on my sofa. She had told me things in her drunken and sleep deprived state I don't know if she was ready to or not, but I'm glad she did because as much as I try to suppress it. I believe I am slowly falling in love with that little fire ball and that thought of fulfilling each other's desires made my whole body tingle I want her I can only hope she truly feels the same. I roll over and try to sleep and I drift off.

I was awoken a few hours later by the sound of my bedroom door creaking open I'm scared at first then I remember that Casey is still here and I sigh.

"Alex" I hear her call in a whisper. I sit up and switch the bedroom light on its only 5:30 the sun had only begun to come up.

"Hi" I say sleepily

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you" she turns and tries to close the door

"Casey wait" and she turns back "what's wrong"

"Nothing it's nothing" I can hear it in her voice that it's a bit more than nothing.

"Come here" I pat the empty side of the bed the slightly hung-over redhead doses as she asked and sits beside me.

"I had a nightmare" she hangs her head.

"About him" she nods "want to tell me about it"

"Can I start with the good part of the dream first" I giggle at her so there was a good part of this dream hopes it about me I smile and respond.

"always start with the good part" as I lay my hand atop hers she looks at it the pulls her hand back I nod but leave mine there in case she changes her mind.

"well I was dreaming that I was on a date with a lovely woman and we were having a great night and she kissed me outside my apartment" she sighs "then I went inside alone you know I think it was only our first date, there was a knock at my door and I go to open it thinking she forgot something and its him."

I hear her voice start to tremble and I want to hold her but I know I have to let her go at her pace but I know she is scared I slide my hand closer to her and she brushes her fingers over mine.

"And he had a gun he held it to me he… he… raped me Alex and when he was done he pulled the trigger" she was pouring out tears now and had laced our fingers together. "Then I woke up cause you know you can't die in a dream, no matter how much you want to"

It was those words that made tears fall from my eyes hearing that she wanted to die but I fought them back I had to stay strong for her the first person in a very long time that could melt my heart of ice.

"It's ok sweetheart it's over now" I say running my thumb over her palm.

"And um Lex" I knew something was wrong she had never called me that before but I loved the way it sounded. "I sort of puked on your carpet "I stated to laugh "I cleaned it up but I wanted you to know"

"it's ok , if I had as much as you drank and then had an awful dream like that I think I would have tossed my cookies to"

She was smiling and for the first time that morning she looked me in the eye she let out a giggle and then a yawn it was still early and I think we both needed more sleep it was the weekend after all. I pull a section of the covers up inviting her to crawl in. I pull them over us and she scoots back into me my breasts pressing against her back I want to hold her but I just lay my hand on my side. But then I feel her reach back she takes my hand and pulls it over her body she brings it to her lips and kisses it she lays it down and whispers.

"In case you were wondering , the lovely woman I was dreaming about …..was you" I pull her closer and close my eyes drifting off to sleep with her in my arms feels easy, feels amazing, feels right I pull back her hair and kiss the scar on her neck.

"Your safe in my arms" are the last words I say before Turing out the light and falling asleep.

_**Casey**_

That morning of sleep was the best rest I have gotten in a very long time I woke to the sun light pouring into her bedroom, her bedroom I'm in Alex Cabot's bed and her arm is still draped around me. I smile but I close my eyes quickly trying to make sure it's not a dream. I had come in here last night to tell her I had gotten sick on her floor not to fall asleep in her arms because I would never admit it at least not out loud that I am slowly starting to fall and fall hard for this beautiful blonde ice queen. I was so confused when she asked to sit with her when she held my hand I mean she had comforted me before but not like this not in her bed and over something as stupid as a nightmare.

I roll over into her and I'm staring at her sleeping face she really is amazing but how she could want me how could anyone want me. I move my hand and tuck a few strands of fallen blonde hair behind her ear and I see a smile brush across her lips I move my fingers to them just lightly brushing them and am met with sparkling blue eyes she kisses my fingers and I try to suppress a giggle this is Alex I think to myself not some prissy. this is the woman whose arms held me last night I who I loved fighting with just to kiss with such fire but right here in her bed next to me is just Alex the woman I'm pretty sure I may just be in love with.

"Morning" she says sleepily

I glance over at the clock and smile.

"Afternoon I believe"

"ooops"

"Well hey it's the weekend, and we both needed a good rest"

We had yet to break eye contact but neither of us really knew what to say but then I felt her hand slide onto my back and she pulled me into just enough to give me the hint but at the same time giving me an out if I wanted it but hey if a hot sexy blonde wants a kiss I say why not so I lean in and press my lips to hers soft and gentle. I know it's not our first kiss but it feels like it, she deepens it and after a few seconds I pull back she sighs.

"You ok Casey did I do something"

"No that was, that was ….wow" I must have sounded stupid but I didn't know what else to say

"I know what you mean" she said as she sat up I did the same she went to stand and I reach for her hand.

"I was just going to put on a pot of coffee, while we decide what to do for lunch"

"Takeout" I say

"Type"

'you' I wanted to say but I really didn't think that was on the menu bust as stood in that door frame and leaned to one side a slice of Alex Cabot pie was the only thought running through my mind. I watched as she ran a hand over her hair.

"Fine pizza it is "

"Sounds great" I say as I watch her walk out of the room and I fall back onto the bed and close my eyes I whisper

"If this is a dream I hope I never wake up"

"What was that Casey" her voice echoing throughout the room I sit back up as she plops down on the edge of the bed handing me a cup of coffee.

"Thanks "

"So I ordered pepperoni"

"That's great" taking a sip of coffee "and so is this"

"Well I owed you a good cup"

I set the cup down on the bedside table I set my hand on Alex's thigh and smile she lays her free hand on top of mine I go to speak but she cuts me.

"Casey I did mean everything, as long as you're with me your safe"

"I know, well my heart knows that anyway, it's my mind that's having trouble"

"I can fix that" she smiles and leans in and kisses my forehead

"I really don't deserve you Alex"

She sighs and pulls her hand away I know I shouldn't have said that but it's true she's perfection in every way and the more I see the real Alex the more I believe that. She reaches past me to set her own coffee down then turns to me and grabs both my hand in hers. I take a deep breath wondering what she could say. She leans close to me as if we are going to kiss again then she whispers in my ear.

"you deserve to be happy, loved and safe Casey" her lips brush my cheek and I move my head to catch her lips in mine she is right and I really don't know how this ice queen who made it so clear that first day in her office that I was worthless could make me feel all those things and more. She pulled back from the kiss as she heard the knock at the door she stood up and walked to retrieve it. I let my head fall into her headboard.

"We both do, we both do" I say as I get up and grab both the coffee cups and head out into the living room. She looks at me from the door with the box of pizza in her hand and smiles. We sit down at the table eating our pizza and drinking coffee its odd but it's us I can feel her playing footies under the table and I laugh I look across and into those blue eyes and I don't really think I meant to say this out loud.

"I think I am falling in love with you Alex Cabot"


	8. words fail

_**A/N::: Hello all here is the next update sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy it, this was one of those chapters that started to write itself but I think its pretty ok. Anyway thanks for the reviews and favs they mean a lot keep it up enjoy the story. *Flash back is in italics* **_

_**~butterfly2202~**_

* * *

**Alex POV**

I could not believe the words that fell from her mouth; she was what, what falling in love with me. I guess I should have seen this coming I mean I think I feel the same but to hear her say it I mean it has always occurred to me that love you has been far to overused. But upon hearing in love followed by my name that was new to be honest I don't think anyone has said that. I realize at this point which must have been a minuet of dead silence that I haven't made any attempt at a reaction. My eyes meet hers and her hand is covering her mouth and she's blushing and she just looks so cute and I think my brain and my mouth must not have understood each other because.

"That's adorable" I smile

"Really Alexandra" she says as she stands and walks to the couch reaching for her bag and shoes

"Wait Casey what's wrong" I ask

"I tell you that I'm falling for you and all you can say is adorable" she yells

"No Casey, please" I reach for her hand as she heads for the door.

"What" she snaps as her body spins around

"I didn't mean it like that, I was thinking how cute you looked being all embarrassed about what you said, please don't go I'm sorry" I say letting go of her hand.

She stands there like she waiting for me to continue

"I do have feelings for you a lot in fact, I just hearing that, those words, no one has ever said it to me before and I was shocked"

"Alex, are you really telling no one has ever said I love you"

"Of Course they have, but no one has ever said they were in love or at least falling in love with me" a half pleading tone in my voice she smiles and sets her things on the table by the door. I sigh. She sinks against the wall and I move toward her.

"Casey" she looks up at me

"Please I love you"

"You love me" she asks her emeralds fighting back tears

"Yes"

"But you're not in love with me" she says this almost playfully and I don't know how to respond. I mean I know I love her but I just don't think I'm ready to say the rest of it.

"case listen " I pull her up and into my arms " I am still sorting out my feelings I do love you just give me some time , I just feel there is a lot we don't know about each other and no matter my feelings I don't think we can rush this" she nods her head and hugs me tight before quickly kissing my lips.

"I should go" she says softly

"You don't have too" I say

"Yeah but I should, I'll call you tomorrow"

"Please" I smile

She collects her things once again and I walk her to the stairs at the end of the hall.

"I had a wonderful time, thank you for everything" she pulled me in for a long deep kiss as if she was trying to show me that she meant every word she had said with just a kiss. I watched as she headed down the steps before I returned to my apartment. I closed the door and leaned my body up against it, I hoped she would call tomorrow and I hoped that I hadn't scared her away. I don't know why I couldn't say it to her because right here and right now the words.

"I am totally and completely in love with Casey Novak" easily fall from my lips.

I guess I feel like until I know the truth about her until she lets me in I'm afraid and what's worse is I think I'm afraid for her. I also know that until she knows about me I will never be able to say the words she wants to hear. I try to shake the thoughts from my head as I walk to my small home office and begin looking over some paperwork thankful to have a distraction. About thirty minutes later I hear my phone ping.

Lex

Just letting you know I got home ok

Case

I smile as I set my phone back on the desk she really is amazing and I really am an ice queen. Why couldn't I let myself tell her I could text it to her but that seems wrong and she deserve for me to be able to say it to her face. I send her a reply.

Casey

Thank you beautiful :)

Alex

And I go back to my files at least I know she's not mad at me and I feel relived at that.

**Casey POV**

I had said it I had told her how I felt and she told me the truth and I know she's right; I feel we both have a lot to learn about one another but I think I'm willing to try waking up with her this afternoon was one of the best feelings in the world and I want that to be every day, I want to hold her and kiss her and call her mine and I want to know that no matter what I am safe in her arms. Those are the thoughts that run though my head as I drift and to tell you the truth counting the things I love about Alex Cabot far better than counting sheep.

I woke the next morning after a good night sleep, I get up and shower, as the water washes over me I think about Alex and how I know that for this whatever this is, to work we have to get to know each other I think maybe that's why people date I laugh to myself as I step from the shower dry off and change into a pair of thigh hugging jeans and an emerald green sweater I try to look over a few files for tomorrow but I can't seem to focus and then I hear a loud grumbling sound and I remember I haven't eaten . I don't have anything so I grab my keys and wallet and decide to go for a walk I'm sure I'll find something.

I walk for about 30 minutes and I must have past at least twenty places to eat but as I look up at my surroundings I smile. I'm standing outside Alex's apartment building I know I should let her have her time to herself but I can't help wanting to be with her. I see a small flower shop across the street and buy her dozen rainbow daisy's roses are too overdone. I head back over and up to her apartment the door man lets me in with little question knowing I been here a lot.

I knock on her door with the flowers held up over my face in front of the peephole. She carefully opens the door and I lean them down she smiles and I laugh she is still in her sleepwear.

"Morning star shine" I say handing her the flowers

"morning, come in" she tells me as she sniffs the flowers and I close the door behind me as she digs out a vase and fills it with water.

"They're beautiful Casey, just like you" I giggle

"I thought roses would have been overdoing it"

"No, no I love daisies there my favorite"

"Somehow I think I knew that"

She places the vase on the counter and turns to me

"So what prompted this lovely surprise?"

"I was wondering if maybe you would accompany me to brunch"

"Of course I would love to just let me get dressed" she smiles god I love that smile.

She comes out in dark jeans and a blue button down shirt her hair falling around her shoulders she had opted for her glasses.

"What is something wrong" she must have seen me staring, she walks to me and I pull her into my arms.

"Perfect" I say as I lay a kiss on her pink lips she runs her hand into my hair and I let out a small purr she giggles

"Pretty kitty"

"Thanks" still holding her close "I am really sorry about yesterday I shouldn't have overreacted"

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, I don't think either of us really knows how to do this" her words are so comforting.

"I do want to get to know you, everything about you. Like what's your favorite movie, your favorite vacation spot, childhood memory, why you don't flash around your families money…" she cuts me off with a quick kiss and pulls away.

"I didn't mean to upset you" I stutter out.

"You didn't, here sit" she motions to the couch as she reaches for a photo album off the bookcase.

"If you don't want to talk"

"Casey you opened up to me, given you were drunk but it is only fair so I will answer the questions you asked"

"Alex" I take her hand as she sits next to me. I can see her eyes start to water. She takes a deep breath.

" ok but no laughing my favorite movie is something called the 10th kingdom its actually a miniseries and it's like nine hours long so I normally just say legally blonde which is my favorite movie to watch when I'm sad or bored or just want to laugh."

"That sounds good" how did I guess it would be a blonde movie.

"My favorite vacation spot you know I don't really know I love the beach so anywhere with one of those is great"

"Mmmm Alex in a swimsuit, I like it"

"Get your mind out of the gutter Novak"

"Now the last two" she says I can tell she fighting back tears I take both her hands and she flashes a soft smile,

"You don't have to answer"

"No I want to" and I nod " I was 10 and up until then I had always spent money like it was nothing whining to get whatever I wanted at least from my mother, dad had tried his best to keep her from spoiling me but it never really happened. He did however win out on sending me to public school. I was an only child and of course there little princess" I watched her smile at the memory playing in her head. "As you know my dad was a lawyer he's the reason I'm one, he came home one day I was playing in my room and he came and sat on my bed and pulled me in his lap"

_"Alexandra my dear "_

_"Yes daddy"_

_"You know that you were born into a family that is very well off right"_

_"Yeah we're rich"_

_"Not exactly" I looked at my dad confused._

_"We do have money but that is because both my grandparents and your mothers grandparents worked very hard, to build companies and law firms, And your mother and I are happy to give you that but we also earn are own money as you will be expected to do at some point"_

_"I know daddy I want to be a lawyer just like you"_

_"I am glad if that's what you want , but it is hard work you see all the hours daddy works and he does it because he wants to help people and give his little girl everything he can and that includes this lesson I'm about to teach you."_

_"Not sure I follow but ok"_

_"You were born into a very powerful family and you have been well taken care of, but I am sure you know from school that not every child is as blessed as you" I nod "some come from homes that are not very nice and those children need protection from those bad homes sometimes so they are taken and placed with a new family one that can give them everything they have to give."_

_"You mean ones who have more money and are not evil"_

_"Sort of "he laughed_

_"my child, money is great but there are something's it cannot buy, yes my dear by legal terms we are rich, but you are not rich because you come from money, you are rich because you come from love you have never know the horrors that live in some places and I hope you never have to live them, but just know this my dear Lexi that even if tomorrow we had no money and no place to live we would still be rich because we would still have love. Do you understand?"_

_"I think so, does that mean that we should share love with those kids who have less instead of money" he pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead._

_"Yes my princess it does, and that's what I want to talk to you about during one of my cases I came across a little girl named Morgan she's eight, I was helping her mother get away from her father who was one of those not nice people well something happened and Morgan grew attached to me and now her mom and dad can't take care of her and she has no other family so I said that I would take her and she will live here as our daughter."_

_"She's going to be my sister"_

_"yes she is and you are to treat her as such, she does not have a lot and she is not used to living in a big house so it may take her time but I think if we share our riches with her she will be fine, don't you" I nod knowing that he meant that he would love this child just as much as he loved me and that I would love her too. "Do you want to meet her?"_

_"yes" he took my hand and walked me into the living room Morgan was standing there with mom she had on a ratty old dress and scuffed up shoes and was holding a small backpack she turned she had light brown hair and pretty hazel eyes, she smiled at me I smiled back then dropped daddy's hand and ran back to my room I was digging in my toy chest when dad came back in and sat next to me._

_"You do know that no matter what I will still love you just as much as I did the day you were born"_

_"Yeah dad I know" I must have turned on my ice princess persona even then but I was determined to find what I was looking for. I pulled the doll out of the bottom of the box and smiled it was a pretty doll with light brown hair and hazel eyes it looked just like Morgan. I showed it to daddy and he smiled and pulled me into his arms._

_"I know you will always love me but its ok to love her she needs it too" I say as I kiss him on the cheek_

_"That's right dear, love is infinite we can make as much as we want"_

_We walk bag to the living room and Morgan is crying in my mother's arms dad lets go of my hand and I walk over to her and tap her shoulder she looks up and then at the doll its wearing a pretty yellow ball gown she smiles. As I hand it to her and pull her into a hug and whisper "you're my sister now and I love you" she cried again happy tears this time._

Alex looks at me with tears in her eyes and she opens the photo album she had in her lap and the inside front cover reads 'Sisters By Fate' and in handwriting underneath 'Love is infinite' she flips to the first page and there she is as a little girl standing in her parents living room her arm wrapped around a girl I can assume is Morgan it was the scene she described with Morgan holding g the doll.

I pull Alex close to me and kiss her I know understand why she answered both questions her favorite memory was why she doesn't flash around money and it just makes me love her more.

"That's beautiful your parents are amazing people who raised two lovely daughters"

"Yes they did" she flipped to one of the pages in the back it was two pictures one of Alex holding her law degree and the other of Morgan with what looked like a med degree. Morgan is a doctor I laugh oh these Cabot girls.

"Where is she now?"

"She works at a hospital in Los Angles"

"You miss her"

"Very much we don't get to talk that often jobs and such"

"I know I don't talk to my siblings that much either"

"You have sisters"

"I have an older brother named Mason and two younger sisters Sara and Katy"

"Aw that's lovely" I smile I pull out my phone to check the time when my stomach growls again.

"I think someone's hungry"

"I believe I was promised a companion for brunch"

"Right however I think its lunch now"

"But I want breakfast"

"Come on she says grabbing my hand I think I know a place"

We rush out the door and down the stairs we get outside and the air is nice it's the city of course but I can see that Alex does love it she is still holding my hand we walk about five blocks and step into a tiny and I mean tiny hole in the restaurant. Alex smiles at the old woman behind the counter.

"Hello Alex" she says

"Hi Mary I know its late but what are the chances we can get two orders of your French toast and she looks at me and a large side of bacon"

"For you dear very good, have a seat "Alex pulls be to a small both in the back and we sit down a young waitress brings us two cups of coffee.

"How did you know I loved French toast and bacon?"

"Lucky guess"

"Maybe we do know more about each other then we think" I smile

"I am however enjoying are first two dates"

"You call these dates Cabot, me spilling my guts about my abusive ex and then passing out drunk, and then showing up at your door and making you tell me about your family"

"First off we still need to talk about that ex" she said glaring "second I told you because I wanted to, I am in love with you Casey Novak and I want to share everything about me with you" she looked at me.

I bit my top lip and tried not to laugh did she know what she said did she mean did somewhere between last night and right now she decided that she was in love with me and then she said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world we sit in silence for what seems like hours but is really about five seconds before the lady from the front walks over with our plates.

"Haven't seen you in a while Alex and who might this be" she asks the blonde sitting across from me

"I'm her "I start to speak but Alex grabs my hand and pipes up

"Mary this is Casey Novak my girlfriend"

"That's wonderful child I'm happy for you" she looks at me "take care of this one she's pretty special "

"Yes she is, I will don't worry" I smile she leaves us alone and I finally look toward Alex.

"You're in love with me" I say

"Yes I believe I am we still have something's to work out but nothing could ever change my heart , being here like this it feels right, falling asleep with you in my arms and telling all the things that no one else knows about me."

"I know "I sigh knowing she was trying to find the correct word and just couldn't "and Alex I will tell you I promise"

"And when you're ready, whenever that is I will listen"

We eat our breakfast and head back to her apartment fingers laced together as we walk we turn a corner and my heart stops, no please no I think just don't let him see me I squeeze Alex's hand tightly as my whole body tenses I try not to look but I have to know and the her turns and meets my eyes, I holding her hand so tight I'm sure we are both losing circulation but I don't avert my gaze he smiles and winks and then he mouths "your mine" I turn away and begin to run partly dragging Alex behind me. We get to her building and I let go as I fall onto her steps.

"Casey what the hell, what's wrong" she asks as she sits down I can tell I'm trying to off a panic attack but nothing I do is working I'm so out of breath from running.

"breathe sweetheart breathe" she tells me as her hand rubs my back I begin to calm but only a little she leans down in front of me and looks into my eyes.

"Him" I manage to say before all but passing out on her shoulder.


End file.
